


Honesty is the Best Medicine

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, F/F, Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 16:41:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16896228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Natasha Romanov broke your heart with her lies and deceit.  Will she ever be able to fix it?





	Honesty is the Best Medicine

Tears filled your eyes as you wrapped the blanket around you tighter.  Your mind raced with thoughts, _of course she didn’t care for you, of course she only wanted to use you for information, why else would she spend time with you?_

 

A shiver went through your body as you thought back to the last six months.  Six months of thinking you were happy.  Six months of bliss.  Six months…of lies.  Every smile, every laugh, every kiss, every tender moment.  It was all lies.

 

Your eyes drifted up and looked across the room to see her.  Her red hair falling around her face, framing it perfectly.  Even now, after an all-out war, after she fought and bled and god knows what else, she was still picture perfect.  Natasha.  No, not Natasha…Black Widow.  She was no longer the Natasha who whispered things in your ears to make you blush, she was the warrior Black Widow.

 

The Avengers, and all their members were heros.  But what kind of hero would manipulate someone, trick them and toy with their emotions just to get what they want?  No, Black Widow was no hero.  She was a poisonous spider.  A spider that bit you on your heart and let the venom spread until you were nothing any more.

 

You truly felt like that.  Nothing.  Because if you were something, you would have saw through her rouse…but you didn’t. 

 

“Ma’am, we have a team ready to take you home.”  Some random Shield Agent said to you.  You wanted to snap at him, tell him to go fuck himself.  You wanted to storm over to Nat-Black Widow and scream until your voice was gone.  You wanted to tell her off for leading you on, for making you fall in love with her, all for a fucking 2 MB file of information. 

 

But you didn’t.  You just nodded and rose up and followed the agent, silently giving into your despair as he helped you into the chopper.

 

The world around you shifted as it took off, showing you just how bad the destruction had been.  Your once tall office building was nothing but rubble now.  Some Hydra spies had destroyed it, trying to get to the information first.  That’s all you were, and not even you, your file, it was just a prize.  You worked for a privately owned company, Shield or Hydra had no people on the inside, so they had to infiltrate.  N-Black Widow got to you first. 

 

Damn her.

 

The tears finally fell as you looked away, staring down to your dust and ash covered feet. 

 

“Ma’am?  Are you alright?”  You heard the voice through your headset, knowing it was this blonde guy they put you with.  He was apparently some big shot on the team, but you didn’t know who he was.  “Ma’am?”  His arm reached out and set on your knee, probably trying to offer you comfort, but instead, it made one thing strike your mind.

 

“She never loved me.” 

 

000

 

6 Months Later

 

That blonde guy who sat with you on the chopper was apparently named Clint.  Yea, Clint Fucking Barton…Hawkeye.  At first, you were angry they sent one of _her_ friends to watch you, but after you looked into his eyes, saw the sadness and apologetic look, you knew he just wanted you to feel better. So he gave you his number, and said if you needed anything, to just text. 

 

You texted him every couple of weeks, just checking in.  Well, it was him checking in on you.  It was always the same things.  _Are you eating enough?  Are you sleeping?  Things will get better, I promise_.  Clint had become the rock you depended on when things got tough.

 

Like tonight. 

 

You woke up and smiled, snuggled into your pillow and reached out…for her.  Your mind didn’t even register the reality until you sat up and chuckled.  “Nat?  Where are you?” 

 

For a moment, your world was right, everything was perfect.  Natasha was just around the corner, maybe making coffee or breakfast, she would just walk in and smile and kiss you sweetly.

 

But then you remembered. 

 

And as it always was, the first thing you did was reach for your phone, and reached out to your rock.  You typed quickly before hitting send, waiting for a reply that you knew would come quickly.

 

Clint: What’s wrong?

 

Y/n:  I can’t get her out of my head!  I just, I wake up and I feel her there, see her there! 

 

Clint: It’s going to be okay.

 

Y/n:  Not it’s not!  I shouldn’t be thinking of her!  She lied to me, used me, she put on this act that she cared and loved me and then ripped it out from under me and it hurts! IT FUCKING HURTS!

 

You were sobbing as you clutched your phone, wishing you could just get over Natasha.  Whoever the idiot was who said “better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all” has clearly never been bitten by a spider. 

 

 Clint: Just take a deep breath.  Remember that grounding technique I told you about?  Try it.  Five deep breaths…now tell me five things you feel. 

 

You did as he asked, before typing in the responses.

 

Y/n: My blanket, my pillow, my sleep pants, the warmth from outside, the morning sun.

 

Clint: Good…five more deep breaths.  Now four things you hear?

 

You closed your eyes and focused.  Four things.  You heard birds…the shifting of your curtains…Sounds of cars passing by…Children laughing.

 

Clint: Deep breaths…Three things you smell.

 

Smell?  Well…you smelled the candle you lit last night while reading.  You smelled…was that coffee?  And…donuts?

 

Clint: Again…Two things you taste.

 

Toothpaste.  That was the first thing, always toothpaste.  Maybe dry mouth?  Did that count?

 

Clint:  Five more breaths…now what is one thing you see?

 

You took your deep breaths and opened your eyes to see…

 

“Natasha?” 

 

She was standing there, with two cups of coffee and a bag of donuts in her hands.  There were other details, of course, but all you could focus on was her face.  Her face had this look of worry, and timid fear, not something you saw on her…ever.

 

“What?  What are you doing here?”

 

She took a few steps forward and sat next to you on your bed.  “You sounded pretty upset, I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

 

“Upset…how?  Did Clint tell you?!”  Oh, you were going to have some words with that asshole later.

 

Natasha chuckled as she shook her head.  “No…you did.”  She shifted as she sighed.  “It was never Clint you were texting…it was me.”  Your eyes went wide, and something snapped inside of you.  After everything, she had the gall to trick you again?!

 

“HOW DARE YOU!”  You shouted at her.  “Like you haven’t lied to me enough?!” 

 

Natasha let you go on, watched as you got out of bed and paced around your room as you laid it all out for her, all the things you were angry about and how pissed you were and how heartbroken you were.  She let you get it all out, and only when you were done did she speak. 

 

“I’m sorry, for all of that.  But…I couldn’t just let you leave, not without know you would be okay.”

 

“Why?!”  You screamed at her. 

 

“Because I did the one thing I was taught never to do on a mission.”

 

You couldn’t help but throw your hands up in a silent question. 

 

“I fell in love.” 

 

Well, fuck.

 

“And I know how you feel about me right now.  Clint gave you my number instead of his because he knew how I felt, and he hoped I could someone fix it.  And I think there is only one way to do that now…” 

 

“And how is that?”  You snapped at her.  You honestly didn’t think there was anything she could do or say that would make this better.

 

“To be honest.”  Natasha stood up and set down your coffee and breakfast on your end table before holding her hand out.

 

“Hello, Y/n.  My name is Natasha Romanov.  I was a Russian spy and assassin called Black Widow, before I was taken on by Shield and then became an Avenger.  I like vodka daiquiris, Italian food, and pissing Stark off when he gets on my nerves.  I like to take Rogers out to movies to try to give him culture shock.  Clint says he will get me a new bike if I do.  And the most important thing, is that almost a year ago, I took on a mission to get top secret files from a woman who had no idea that her files could change the course of the world.  I infiltrated her work, flirted with her…and fell in love with her.  But I hurt her, and I would do anything to make it right, because when I saw her get on that chopper and fly away from me, it was too much to bear.  If she will let me try, I swear I will never lie to her again.” 

 

You were stunned.  She just laid it all out there, but was she serious?  Your heart was pounding in your body, making it hard to think.  Which is probably why the only thing that came out of your mouth was, “You better not have fucked up my coffee order.” 

 

You couldn’t help but let out a breath that was a laugh as Natasha smiled at you. 

 

“I would never.” 

 

You stepped forward, passing her hand before wrapping your arms around her.  This was it, this was where you belong.  Natasha held onto you as you both just stood there, savoring the feeling of being together again. 

 

“I’m still going to kill Clint for giving me a fake number.”

 

Natasha smiled as she gave you a little squeeze.  “I’ll teach you how to shoot.” 


End file.
